circa 2013, Maui 

Missing, needing, and wanting the ocean today. 

Then I read a quote and maybe it explained a little bit why I'm missing the constant crash of endless salty blue waves and sun. 

"When we are unduly impatient with an omniscient God's timing, we really are suggesting that we know what is best. Strange, isn't it- we who wear wristwatches seek to counsel Him who oversees cosmic clocks and calendars." 

- Neal A. Maxwell 

#The100DayProject

#The100DayProject

A few months ago I asked some of my married friends if they had heard of Tinder.

There was a long pause, and one said, "like the stuff you use to make a fire?"

I envied their married oblivion. 

I laughed.  Hard.  And then looked around wishing some other poor single fool who had the grotesque pleasure of swiping left and right on the Tinder app was around me to share in the greatness of the moment.

And then I explained what it was.

"It's like a faster, simpler way to date online. It's reducing online dating to be even more superficial.  But it's easier and less committed. You swipe left to deny or right to like. If you both swipe right you match and can talk."

Crap.  Saying it out loud made it sound even more bizarre than it feels to participate in it.

"But hey, to be fair, I know a few girls who have gotten married to great guys because of Tinder."

My thoughts went to one of those girls, a best dear real good friend who is married to a wonderful kind man.  Because of said Tinder.

"It's just how it's done these days".  

That last line was definitely to convince me more than them.

I thought back to this moment tonight as I was having a conversation (texting of course, I mean duh, we're in our 30's in 2015, so ya) with a guy.  He saw one of my friends in a picture and mentioned he knew her.

I of course then began simultaneously texting her.  And then I remembered who he was.  Oh the stories she had told.  Just a nice face with a seedy Tinder moment downfall. 

She then began texting him.  It's all very inception like and a bit gross.  But entertaining nonetheless.

In the meantime, here are a few other quirky nonsensical profile lines of which we judge, laugh, dismiss, then have a moment of 'oh good hell.' Because if you can't laugh you'll cry right?  I mean cliches are cliches for a reason.

"I drink a lot of chocolate Nesquik. And I go to church every Sunday."  - Lance, age 28

"Pools are perfect for holding water." - Kevin, age 29

"My dating life can be summed up in the lyrics of Miss Fat Booty by Mos Def. Plus my idol is Casey Neistat." -Michael, age 29

*note to self: google Miss Fat Booty and Casey Neistat.  Or not.

#The100DayProject

This view has been mine for almost two years.  I see this site 8-10 hours every day.  Most of the time there are students in the seats.  When the seats are empty I feel the gravity of their presence even more.

This moment in time was after kids were talking about The Kite Runner.  17 year olds - most middle of the middle class. Most white.  Mostly girls...discussing real issues about situations and stories they will never experience. Phrases were flying and discussion was actually happening amid lulls.  

And then she raised her hand and said, "it's made me check my privilege a little bit more". 

#The100DayProject

Growing up I always remember asking my mom to go somewhere, buy something, or do something with the phrase, so there's this thing...

Well, there's this thing called The 100 Day Project, or to get millennial, let's put it in the hashtag form it deserves... #The100DayProject. It was dreamed up by Elle Luna.  I officially became obsessed with her after reading The Crossroads of Should and Must, which has now been made into a gorgeous book.

My 100 days - just write something every lovin' day. And I'll probably miss a few days, but still I write right? 

Lines and or lists. And some may be here, but I think I feel the same as Harper Lee when she says, "some things are meant to be on soft paper, not cold metal."

So handwriting and the good old private journal is in order as well. A specific instant of stillness.  Photographer Dorothea Lange said "photography takes an instant out of time, altering life by holding it still."  

Holding a moment in my mind and hold it still and write.

#The100DayProject

Walking down the hallway, I took a deep breath and decided it was going to be fine.

That decision needed to be made because you know those mornings where you are pulling into the parking lot and the invisible thickness of all you need to do rests heavy on your chest, well it was one of those.

But then I looked at the hallway lines.  My favorite hallway and sun together and decided - it's just fine.

A girl walked by me and furiously said to her friend next to her,

"and then I took an adderall this morning and now I'm super freaking out"

Line by line day by day.  Find the sun spots and in my case random comments and let the thickness go. 

Maybe I should have asked her for one.

I picked up the card.  Its simple lettering on stark white paper and blue letterpress called to me. 

And then I read the words.

Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid

And make bad decisions.

Ha.

I knew it.